Goodbye Anubis
by Barney5102
Summary: Amber's slowly falling apart- her once suitable grandeur turning into a messy pile at her feet. Despite being pretty and popular, does she share this same little dirty secret with another at Anubis? My first try at a one shot, could be triggering.


Amber's pov:

* * *

Stupid. That's all I was, stupid! And a coward, clearly, because everyone had forgotten me. Because I couldn't quite push the razor any further into my skin.

But I was also clean. Refreshed as I ran my throbbing wrist under the taps in the bathroom. Clear of the crime, of my punishment as it runs a dull red down the drain. It was still there though.. As always. In my face, body, hair. In every impurity and failure it ran deeper than any hap hazard words or complements. Ran deeper than the approval I demanded. Ran deeper than the make up I wore to hide it.

Doesn't stop its appeal though, does it Amber! That's what the voices in my head yell. They're screaming, and I know they're right. That with every cut I'm giving in, falling deeper into the swirling mess in my head. Its just so tempting, like fingers curling round my throat in wisps of smoke and throttling me into a stupor of self gratification. Into self importance and superiority.

"Fuck.. Amber" the voice comes as a total surprise, though I don't know why. In my hurry, in my rush, I'd left the door unlocked. An open invitation I'd probably hoped secretly, someone would take up. I raise my eyes reluctantly to meet his blue ones, shoving my hand behind my back in a last feeble attempt at protecting my dirty little secret.

"I- uh" I start but he moves forwards. I start back, this was Jerome Clarke. Cunning and manipulative. That and my ex's best friend, the same boy these latest cuts were dedicated to. His eyes are sad though, sadder than I'd seen them before, like at long last a shield had been dropped, just for that split second. Somehow it warmed me. That a look like that could be directed at someone as small and as unimportant as me.

He runs a hand over his head in frustration before lowering himself onto the edge of the sink beside me. "Stop!" The words shoot from my lips, blind panic taking over. How dare he! How dare he act so casual, so calm! How dare he watch my downfall from the edge of a bathroom sink? "STOP" he wasn't listening to me! Wasn't doing what I wanted. Yeah, right, stamp a foot Amber. Throw a temper tantrum Amber! Tears roll down my cheeks as I go limp, giving in and sinking to the stinking floor like they all wanted.

That's when I realise he's shaking off his blazer himself. Oddly, in the moment I half wonder if he's going to abuse me. Force me down and strip me of anything I have left. And for some reason I'm ok with that. Like all the fight is already leaking away down that bloody pipe. That a seal on that downfall wouldn't be a tragedy, that its necessary. He sighs deeply and looks up to meet my eyes once more, lifting his arm to revel an array of soft pink lines.

Words stick in my mouth as I fly to the depths of my mind. It made sense. He did the same as me- hide behind that ridiculous faux exterior when you're crumbling inside. And for no reason other than the fact narcissism's extremely addictive. That its all about you for those seconds and everyone has a right to criticise it- as it's there. You're faults are simple, physical. No more ditzy blonde or cunning prankster, just for those few, tantalizing seconds. And god it was addictive.

No words needed to be exchanged. Just a shared look. A shared knowing glance of two people who know just a little more than everyone else. A shared look knowing that is exactly why they did it. For that power. That superiority. That control.

No more is needed. I stand up as does he. We move from the bathroom and then down the stairs. I sit beside my friends the 'scooby gang'. He sits alone. And we ignore the others presence. We know we can never properly acknowledge it again. Because we rule this kingdom. We have control over where we are now. And if we ignored that, what would be the point in doing it all anyway?

* * *

_I don't know where this story came from but hey! Whaddacha think? I like jamber- they're interesting- although only the 'fanfiction version' of amber. Is it just me or has she taken on this alternate personality in most fanfiction. Seriously, read a couple angsty amber stories and she's written in a similar way, one which the show never really set up (unlike with Jerome or Patricia say). Idk, its weird but I do like it. Anyway, rate and review, I do like oneshots so I may write more_


End file.
